How NOT to get a date in NYC. My smelly subway experience.

Earlier today, I was taking the three train uptown. As usual, I had my iPod on blasting the classics (J5, Stevie, Smokie - you know). So, I am minding my own business sorting my day out in my mind when I notice someone approaching me. Since I was sitting right next to the doors to the next car, I figured that is where this person was headed. Seconds later they were seated next to me.

It took my a second to fully realize why anyone would randomly sit next to me, in a two person seat, when the car was relatively empty. The first thing I noticed was his stench - my stomach began to hurt immediately.

I don’t think I would have been bothered as much if he just sat down next to me, but dude practically sat on top of me. I could not ignore the bad vibe that I felt, and my first instinct told me to change my seat. Which I did, as he began saying something to me. I have no clue what he said - remember I still have in my headphones.

I felt pretty good about my decision until I looked over and saw his head hanging down. I realized that I just played homeboy in front of everyone in the car. As I replayed the scene in my mind I tried to imagine how I could have handled it differently.

Here is the conversation I had with myself:

“Maybe I could have taken my headphones out to hear what he had to say.”

“No, because if he has B.O. I can only imagine how stank his breath is.”

“Ok, well lots of people have bad breath.”

Then I imagined the rest of the convo carrying on to include me lying about having a man, etc. Having recently been inspired to cut the bullshit out of my life, I realized that this was just not an option.

That is when it hit me - WHY DO I FEEL BAD? He made me uncomfortable. Maybe he will learn a lesson about approaching women. He really creeped me out and smelled HORRIBLE.

However, I am still a punk . . . so I changed cars at the next stop.

What would you have done?

~Theory